I was
told to have a seat while the managers finished their discussion in the other
room, but I looked hard and long at the chair they offered me, a kitchen chair
with a vinyl covered cushion that was tan colored and creased in an inept
machine tooled method to make the surface appear like leather. The lights in
the room dimmed somewhat and it seemed as if the entire floor of the building
had become one large elevator car; I could feel myself sinking to the depths
below the stomach to where nausea was a brew always waiting at the table you
walked away from in a hope that you could learn new ways to slake a thirst. You
return to where you were continually ill, you return to the place where disasters
occur like the arrival of mail and small teeming insect colonies when the
weather gets warmer. Strange how I got tired of a life that made made sense
without explanation, a life where every decision was followed by appropriate
response , with the results being an equilibrium not unlike a placid like
dreamed of in a passing Idyll, smooth surface, calm waters, perfectly diffused
sunlight . I got tired of that and wanted to lurk around the basement again, to
wallow among the empty boxes and bottles behind the figurative water heater;
life should be a series of pipes that leaked contentedly. So here I was, on the
third floor staring at a kitchen chair's cheap vinyl covering, waiting for the
managers to finish their discussion in the other room.
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